It was time to finish off my House marathon and get the last film watched, so I settled down on a lazy Sunday afternoon on the sofa and got it watched. I was surprised to see a returning character from the first film and it made the fact that the 3rd was considered a House film even weirder. Never mind though here’s what I thought of the last House movie…………
Director: Lewis Abernathy
Run Time: 94 minutes
At first I was encouraged by this film, it introduced us to Roger Cobb from the first House movie. Although it seemed weird that he didn’t have his son from the first film with him and had seemingly moved on, got a wife and had a kid with her. Oh well, that sort of thing doesn’t always need to be explained, maybe his kid and ex-wife from the first film were just not in contact with him at the time.
At least Roger is back
So once again Roger inherits a family home, this time from his Father, he brings along his wife Kelly and daughter Laurel and they decide to move into the house and make it their home. Which is weird in itself as they’d not even bothered to clear away the cobwebs inside the house. Roger’s brother Burke (played by one absolutely awful actor) wants to sell the house to be knocked down and to make a massive profit selling it on to a developer.
Then tragedy strikes as Roger and his family are involved in a suspicious car crash that kills Roger and leaves his daughter paralyzed. After this tragedy Kelly and the daughter move into the house and decide to do the place up but strange things keep happening with Kelly seeing all sorts of weird stuff. For no reason at all they’re joined by a strange house keeper who seems to have an ulterior motive for being there.
A face in a pizza…..
No all this is reasonably watchable then it decides to go really weird and to be totally honest really shitty. Turns out Burke, Roger’s brother had made a deal with the owner of a factory that produces loads of toxic waste and the “development” was meant to be a place to bury the toxic waste. To make things even weirder the owner of the factory which seems to be a toxic and non toxic barrel factory is a midget with a breathing disorder. He coughs up mucus with the help of a vacuum cleaner to his throat then makes his enemies drink it.
So Burke sends his goons round to try and hound Kelly and Laurel out of the House but it doesn’t go according to plan. Eventually we see Burke get his just desserts but even that is just really weird and seemingly comes from nowhere.
Burke turns out to be an ass but you’ll spot that in the first few minutes of seeing him
- The first half hour was pretty good at setting things up despite the average to awful acting.
- The strange happenings when Kelly moves into the house were well done.
- It actually had a link to the first film.
- The acting, most people were terrible and the non terrible ones were average at best.
- The midget owning the weird toxic factory was silly.
- The ending sucked big time, it all come out of nowhere and didn’t really make that much sense.
- Burke’s two henchmen goons were cringe worthy to watch.
- Kelly moves and sleeps in a house with her daughter that hasn’t been cleaned, it’s only a minor thing but who would just sleep in a bed covered with cobwebs. Maybe her husband’s death had sent her mental.
- There’s a talking face in a pizza.
- A recurring theme of the House movies seems to be the main character lack of ability to tell nosy strangers to do one and get out of their home.
I always try to look for the best in the films I watch and tend to avoid being harsh if I get some enjoy ability out of a film I watch. This however felt like 94 minutes of my life wasted, sure the “haunting” type incidents were reasonably good but after that first half hour or so this film was painful to watch. I would not recommend this to anyone unless you have a strong desire to see the House franchise all the way through. This is one to avoid, the only reason it doesn’t score a zero is because some of the things Kelly sees were well done, other than that there’s nothing to see here.
Overall Score – 2/10