A little over a year ago I was on a bus ride with Mrs AcidBurn and we decided that because we watched a load of horror films I should start a blog about horror films. Now a year has gone I’ve had tons of views, gained a lot of Twitter followers and interacted with some cool people via social media. It’s given me the chance to see a few indie films, I admire anyone who actually gets out there and makes their vision of a film into a reality no matter the budget they have. So after a year writing about films I thought it’d be a bit of fun to write some awards for best film etc, I will only include the films I’ve reviewed over the last year so here goes, here’s the very first AcidBurnsHorrorShow.co.uk awards!
I think we should start with the raspberry awards so to speak then we can get to the fun parts! I’ll link to all reviews as I write about each winner and will link if there’s any that run them close.
Golden Crap Award For Worst Film
Zoombies (2016) is the film that I disliked the most out of all the ones I’ve reviewed, terrible CGI, a horrible story and bad execution this film doesn’t have many redeeming features and I was left constantly bored by it! It should be said that I have a high tolerance for bad films, in my life there’s only A Knights Tale which I didn’t watch until the end. However along with Knights Tale is a horror called Pitchfork was awful. To be honest that really should be winning this award as I couldn’t stand to watch more than 20 minutes of it but I can only award it to something I’ve watched all the way through.
The Best Film
The Thing (1982) is virtual perfection, great acting, direction, story and effects combined with a horrifying atmosphere mean this is the film I’ve picked as the very best I’ve reviewed. It was ran close by Tremors (1990) and Jaws (1975) but it just edges them out!
The Best Actor
John Goodman for 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) sure this could maybe be seen as a supporting role but I’m only awarding to who I think was the all out best, he’s chilling in this and I think he’s been an immensely underrated actor throughout his career. He was ran close mainly by Andy Powers in Clown (2014) Tim Curry in Stephen King’s IT (1990) and Richard Brake in 31 (2016)
Essie Davis in The Babadook (2014) was my main choice, whilst I found the film to be overrated she was absolutely fantastic. The only other person I’d even considered was Blake Lively in The Shallows (2016) what she was able to do being alone for most of the film was really good to watch.
American Mary (2012) directors The Soska Sisters take this one, I know people might not agree especially when it’s up against films like The Thing and Jaws but for me this movie was perfectly directed from start the finish.
Best Haunting/Possession Film
The Conjuring (2013) and Conjuring 2 (2016) are fantastic films that prove the horror genre is still alive and well in the mainstream. I think the dash of reality in these films and the fact that they’ve spawned a horror universe with their spin offs is what makes them so damn good.
Hatchet Trilogy takes home this one, there’s some competition from the enjoyable Charlie’s Farm(2014) and Wolf Creek (2005)+Wolf Creek 2 (2013) among others but for me Victor Crowley pulling people to pieces in over the top gore is too good not to win. Mindless fun body parts all over the place with each film being enjoyable!
Best Foreign Language Film
Tokyo Gore Police (2008) easily for this one, from the moment it started until the very end I was totally gripped. Mad story, crazy effects and buckets and buckets and buckets of gore it’s over the top mad fun that everyone should watch. Ran close by The Machine Girl (2008), The Host (2006) and the REC series of films.
Found Footage/Mockumentary Film
What We Do In The Shadows (2014) nailed this one, it’s obviously a comedy but it does everything so perfectly probably one of the most enjoyable films I’ve seen in recent years. I put mockumentary and found footage in the same category which some people might not agree with but for me it’s all about the point of view of both sub genres. Ran close by REC and The Blair Witch Project (1999).
Best Horror Comedy
Shaun of the Dead (2004) a great horror comedy filled with vulgar fart jokes, zombies, cornettos, a couple of arsehole characters all revolving round visiting a pub chuck in some cameos by some well known English comedians and it all adds up to perfect horror comedy. Close call between this Deathgasm (2015) and Tremors (1990)
Best Monster Movie
Best TV Show
Ash Vs Evil Dead is everything I could have dreamed of and more, when I heard they were making it I was as worried as I was excited, could it live up to the true classics of horror. The answer was a resounding YES! Everything is there Ash is as annoying as he is cool, there’s so much gore it’s a splatter fiends wet dream. Take a couple of sexy women, a funny side kick, as much gore as you can imagine, Ash’s one liners, Ash’s dad, a half hour format and lots of demons chuck them in a blender and you get fast paced, funny and gory Ash Vs Evil Dead. Ran close by Stranger Things
The Most Brutal Kill
This honor goes to Bone Tomahawk (2015) I mean man this was brutal, most horror fans have an extreme tolerance for blood and guts but this takes things to another level. I don’t think this kill will be matched again!
The Best Kill
Suck my spinning steel, shit head! Bad Taste (1987) whilst Bone Tomahawk is the most brutal Derek taking out the head alien in Bad Taste gets my vote for the best death in all the films I’ve reviewed!
The Best Killer
31 (2016) Doom Head takes home the coveted Best Killer Award, sure the film in my eyes was a bit of a let down but man was he one horrible, nasty and brutal killer perfectly acted. There were several others up for this award but none really came close to him, sure my man Victor Crowley is a beast but he’s just a beast whereas Doom Head is one evil bastard!
The Gore Award
Tokyo Gore Police (2008) wins for the best gore mainly because it was so bonkers I mean a woman with crocodile jaws for a vagina, a cock cannon, pieces of people flying everywhere this was just a perfect film for gore hounds out there! Could have easily gone to Feast (2005) which is full or piss, cum, goo, gore and blood or even Ash Vs Evil Dead which is as gory as anything you’re eve likely to see on TV.
Best Use Of A Non Weapon As A Weapon
As horror fans we bore of the same old deaths so we look for new and unique deaths all the time and what could be better than Deathgasm (2015) and two vibrators in the ear and a foot long black dildo in the face be beaten?
Best Heroic Death
“I hope I give you the shits you fucking wimp” is a line synonymous with Dog Soldiers (2002). In a scene that could be entitled “Spoon’s last stand” we see Spooney facing death, he knows the big bad wolf is going to eat him, so why not stab it, twat it with a frying pan and then insult it before it munches you. The lads in Dog Soldiers don’t know how to go out without a fight even though they know they’re dead and that’s what makes this film so damn good.
Kick Ass Bitch Award
We all love a heroine in horror that takes no shit and kicks some ass, there’s a lot that could be put for this award but it’s You’re Next (2011) Erin played by Sharni Vinson who grabs the award. What makes her so good is you have no idea she’s going to turn into such an ass kicker at the start of the film. As things progress she just gets better and better in a film I had low expectations of that turned out to be really damn good. As I said there’s a few that could have won this one mainly the heroines from The Machine Girl(2008) and Tokyo Gore Police (2008) along with Kelly from Ash Vs Evil Dead.
Kick Ass Bastard
Got to be Ash, in Ash Vs Evil Dead whether by accident, luck or on purpose Ash kicks some ass big time chopping up Deadites left, right and center in amazing gory detail. I must admit while there are some other kick ass bastards out there in the films I reviewed once I’d watched Ash this award was already won.
I realise there’ll be people that disagree with what films I’ve picked but I won’t be losing any sleep over it! I hope you’ve enjoyed readying through these “awards” it’s probably been the most fun I’ve had writing an article since starting up this blog. I hope you’ll join me next year where we’ll have a while new bunch of films to write awards for!