Nails (2017) Review



I’m a big fan of Ross Noble’s free wheeling, for those unaware it’s a show on UK channel Dave where stand up comedian Ross Noble follows orders off Twitter. He basically riding around the UK meeting up with people who ask him to do stuff on his Twitter account, it’s amazing fun! I was gutted when I found out there wouldn’t be any more for the foreseeable future. I noticed that Ross Noble had said he was working on acting in another horror movie having already appeared in the darkly funny killer clown film Stitches. So when I saw this on Netflix I had to give it a watch.


Director – Dennis Bartok

Writers – Tom Abrams and Dennis Bartok

Stars – Shauna Macdonald, Steve Wall, Lea McNamara, Richard Foster-King and Ross Noble

Budget – £5 million estimated

Run Time – 85 minutes Link

Dana suffers a terrible accident whilst out jogging as a car runs her over, her head bounces off the floor in a sickening thud and she’s left fighting for her life. She awakens in hospital, a rather creepy and slightly empty hospital it must be said, she no longer has the ability to speak and struggles to communicate with her daughter and husband. This is eventually overcome with a machine that speaks out whatever she types.


The hospital seems a lonely place for Dana but she makes a friend in the form of nurse/handyman Trevor(played by Ross Noble)he is one of the first people she confides in after things begin to get creepy. She can feel a presence in her room more specifically in the cupboard at the bottom of her bed.


As you’d expect no one really believes her, not her Husband or Trevor or anyone. Yet things start getting worse leading to her being attacked by something but no one really knows what. Her husband installs some cameras in her room to monitor what the hell is going on but these fail to really record anything helpful.


After more and more creepy goings on Dana begins to investigate the history of the hospital, it’s here she discovers the grim past of the place as she continues to fight for her life and the life of her daughter.

The Good

  • Ross Noble and Shauna MacDonald as Trevor and Dana both play their roles really well.
  • There’s a decent atmosphere to the hospital, it seems empty, lonely and a pretty creepy place find yourself in.
  • The slow escalation of the strange events going on in her room is well paced.


The Bad

  • I wasn’t convinced by the other actors outside of the main two.
  • The design of the bad guy was far too generic.
  • Not enough victims or kills, don’t get me wrong a horror doesn’t need deaths all over the place but this could have done with a handful more.

This film isn’t great and although I’m glad Ross Noble was solid in it, it is not one I’d really recommend. There are far better haunting/demon/ghosty films out there that you’d be better off spending an hour and a half of your life watching. I suppose if you’re a huge Ross Noble fan it’s worth checking out.

Overall Rating – 4/10

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